


Need You Now...

by EmpatheticVoice



Series: Sherlock Jukebox [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-21 07:12:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18139058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmpatheticVoice/pseuds/EmpatheticVoice
Summary: When a pregnant Mary Watson's true past is revealed, she and John have difficulty reconciling their differences and moving on. Set during "His Last Vow" while the Watsons are separated.





	Need You Now...

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Song And Characters Do Not Belong To Me.
> 
> Song Used: Need You Now - Lady Antebellum

* * *

 

Mary accidently brushes her leg against a box on the coffee table, knocking it on the floor.

"Oh, bugger."

It is hard enough trying to bend over while pregnant. She barely manages to pick up the box, thankful that only some, not all the contents have spilled on the floor. With a loud "oof," she gathers the rest of the items in her hands. They are photos from her and John's wedding. Mary stares at a few of them. They looked so happy. John looked so handsome, Sherlock too. Mary sighs, tracing her finger over husband's image, and returns the pictures into the box.

How different things are now.

* * *

_Picture perfect memories, Scattered all around the floor._

_Reaching for the phone cause, I can't fight it anymore._

_And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?_

_For me it happens all the time._

* * *

 

She misses him. She really does. But she can still remember the look on his face when Sherlock tricked her into confessing to him in Leinster Gardens. He was so angry. He had every right to be. His wife shot his best friend and lied to him about who she really is. She thought she could put her past behind her. She thought she could redeem herself with this life as Mary Morstan nee Watson. Be a normal, simple person, that lived the life she ought to have. But life has a way of catching up to you. Secrets always have a way of revealing themselves. It was how she ended up under Magnussen's thumb.

* * *

_It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now._

_Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now._

_And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now._

* * *

 

As she lays in the bed they used to share, Mary makes sure her body is turned away from the empty space John used to occupy. She doesn't like looking at it. Despite how tired she gets, she dreads going to bed now. The room is too quiet and the sheets are too cold. If things continue as they are, she will have to continue on, on her own. Mary hugs her belly tightly.

"Looks like it just might be you and me, kid." She murmurs.

* * *

_Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door._

_Wishing you'd come sweepin' in the way you did before._

_And I wonder if I ever cross your mind? For me it happens all the time._

* * *

 

John drinks in his room. Sherlock is oddly respectful of his privacy. He sips his whiskey while seemingly staring at nothing, while is mind is full of things. Mostly about Mary, the baby, and Sherlock. He can forgive her for shooting him. Hell, there are days he wishes he could. But the fact is, he cannot forgive that everything about their relationship is based on a lie. A fabrication.

After watching Sherlock fall from the roof of St. Barts, John was lost again. He was lost after he came home from the war, then found his purpose with the consulting detective. When Sherlock supposedly committed suicide, a part of him died with him. It was Mary who found him, and slowly helped him find his way back again. Mary who was his light in a very, very, dark time. Mary who pushed him regain himself, to be able to function and live again. To say that all of that was a lie…It is something he doesn't want to think about.

So, he stays here and drinks, and looks after Sherlock. He doesn't know what he intends to do. He knows Sherlock is in favor of them reconciling, but they don't truly know each other, do they? Should they get divorced? There is also the baby to consider. The fact of the matter is, he does love Mary, or whoever this woman is. But now the question will always remain. Is it real? Every time he feels the warmth of her smile, or make love under their sheets, the doubt will always niggle at him.

* * *

_It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk, and I need you now._

_Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now._

_And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now_

* * *

 

Still, John wishes to hear the sound of Mary's voice. It's late, and the alcohol in his system has lowered his inhibitions. He thinks he can listen to her answering machine. He holds up his phone and flicks it open to Mary's contact information. He touches the dial icon with his thumb. It rings, and he waits for the voicemail to pick up.

A groggy voice answers, "Hello?"

_Shit._

Mary looks at the caller id name on her phone, since she answered it without really looking.

It's John.

The pregnant assassin is more awake now. She looks at the time on her digital clock, it reads 1:18 AM in bold red numbers.

"John?" She asks. "Is something wrong?"

Silence follows.

"John, talk to me." She pleads.

Watson really does not know what to say.

Mary can hear him breathing.

"John…" She croons.

She really wants to reach out to him, but all she hears is the sound of the call disconnecting.

* * *

_Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all._

* * *

 

The gap between them almost seems insurmountable to bridge.

* * *

_It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now._

* * *

 

She still watches for him in the newspapers.

* * *

_And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now._

* * *

 

He still watches her from afar sometimes. The AGRA thumb drive still weighs heavy in his pocket.

* * *

_And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now._

* * *

 

Nothing can be changed about the past. It is what it is. But what does he want for the future?

* * *

_I just need you now._

* * *

 

Does he want a life without Mary in it?

* * *

_Oh baby I need you now._

* * *

 

With that, John makes his decision.

 


End file.
